Buy me cute underwear and oversized hoodies and let me fall asleep in your lap
What makes this for me is the url.
Fun little trick I learned in therapy: validation. When someone is upset, don’t try to fix the problem, point out the cause, or tell them it could be worse. Just validate their emotions. Be like, ‘shit yeah man, that sucks. I’m sorry you’re going through that. I’m here for you.’ That’s literally all you have to do to make them feel better. Thank you and goodnight.
After many years of regular contests in the traditional sports of the age, known as the Olympics, Paralympics, and Winter Olympics/Paralympics, a new tournament emerged in early 2014CE: the Selfie Olympics. This is believed to have received much less media attention than its sister competitions, in part due to its concurrence with the controversial Winter Olympics held in Sochi at around the same time.
Unlike the more physically demanding and diverse sports showcased in its sister contests, the Selfie Olympics attracted entrants at all levels of physical fitness and only featured one singular event; self-portrait photography. Also unlike its sisters, the Selfie Olympics seems to have imposed imposed no limit on the number of contestants who could take part, nor has any record surfaced of rounds, heats, or even a division between team entries or single entries.
The criteria for success in these particular Olympics are unclear; many older photographs demonstrate impressive feats of physical prowess and daring, with competitors taking photographs of themselves hanging upside-down from metal bars, wedged by their legs at the top of doorways, and contorted into any number of uncomfortable and difficult positions, or else perched on the edges of ravines or posed in front of moving traffic. Later entries, however, contain large numbers of comfortably-seated people, or combinations of low- and high-status individuals which, in themselves, must have counted as daring at the time. The only common feature of all the images is that the person taking the photograph also appears in it, though the use of a mirror (or mirrors) appears to have been acceprable in this capacity.
Though the winner or winners of these Selfie Olympics have never been discovered - whether the records have been lost or whether the results were simply never announced is a source of great contention among members of the academic community - the general consensus among experts at the present time points to three exceptional examples of the skill being demonstrated, one of which, it is believed, must have prevailed. The first photograph in contention is of a large group of people, dressed in the formal dress and high status symbols of their time and culture, gathered in some sort of theatre or colosseum. This is believed to be a strong contender due to the sheer number of references to it in surviving literature from the Blue Sites. The second is of a group of less wealthy-looking people smiling in the back of an ancient law enforcement vehicle referred to as a police van; this would not be worthy of consideration as a potential winner were it not for the inscription so often found alongside or beneath it, which claims it was taken while the individuals pictured were under arrest and being driven away from a protest. The third contender is more in what it is believed was the original spirit of the Selfie Olympics, and is a photograph of a man balancing upside-down on one hand - a feat of great strength, in itself - atop the highest point of what was, at the time, the tallest building on the planet.
It is unclear whether the Selfie Olympics were ever repeated, let alone every four years as its sisters were, as all entries and references seem to date from the same single event of early 2014CE. Again, academics are divided on the issue; some claim that later entries were ceremonially burned at the end of the Selfie Olympics in which they competed, as a gift to the gods, while others argue that the lack of clear results and the apparent confusion over the rules suggest that the experimental competition was abandoned, possibly even before the end of the first tournament. Whichever is the case, the Selfie Olympics were a bold attempt to redefine and refresh a tradition dating back, in some form, many centuries."
— 21st Century Sports by W.W.W Dott. Published 2565CE by Memewrath Books, London. (via futurehistorybooks)